Last night, I witnessed one of the items that has been on my bucket list for longer than I've known most of you: the aurora borealis. It captured my interest from the moment I first learned about meteorology in preschool. Watching TV, I knew I had to see it one day, to witness colors I couldn't imagine until they were right in front of me.
Years passed, and the aurora lingered in my mind. Stuck in an area with heavy light pollution, I could feel its presence above the clouds covering Northern Virginia. A sense of electricity shook my soul. Lying in bed, I would close my eyes and imagine the aurora dancing above me. In 2019, I started a short-lived project called Aurora Broadcasting, using graphic design to create palettes inspired by the aurora's colors.
The aurora always fascinated me, blowing my mind every time I saw pictures (with a bit of jealousy). In 2020, I got into lighting, using a disco ball set and CDs to create mesmerizing colors and atmospheres through light refraction.
Around that time, I also started coming to terms with my identity. I felt something different in me, beyond just being an "outcast." My online friends were queer and artsy, and experimenting with my pronouns and name gave me space to explore and understand myself. The turbulent time before fully coming out to myself was full of nights where my thoughts overwhelmed me, quieted only by imagining the aurora silently dancing above.
In the summer of '22, I fully embraced who I was. Elizabeth (Effy for short) became my name, and I stepped into my true identity. That autumn, I began HRT. A few months later, I met my soulmate and now fiancée, a trans girl named Autumn. We started talking in DMs and quickly moved to nightly calls. Our first weekend together was in my college town, Winchester, Virginia. I cried the day she left knowing that she was the one and it tore me apart knowing I wouldn't see her for another couple of months.
Last night, the stars aligned and my soulmate and I went to Sky Meadows to finally witness the phenomena that has calmed me, fascinated me, and been with me all of my life. Autumn busted out the question and I said yes, and she gave me a promise ring.
Shes my forever girl, and seeing the aurora for the first time cemented a realization: before I met Autumn, there has been a hole in my life that she filled so effortlessly. In the years alone being comforted by the aurora, it's now been replaced by my future wife. And under that starry night of October 10th, the day after my 21st birthday. I kissed and slow-danced with the girl that saved my life, under the lights that I've dreamt of for almost my entire life. It was magical.
This is a post in honor of my wife, but also, an ode to love, the love of myself, others, and the world around me. I'm so so so honored to be in so many of your lives, just like the aurora that is above us - a tapestry of colors charged in our atmosphere, knowing that our lives are beautiful.
